Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
John 19:28-30
In all of my medical treatments, I had never received chemotherapy. As a pastor, I had walked the path with numerous people and watched as Jodi’s mother endured the nastiness of the poison used to combat cancer in their bodies. My chemotherapy sessions, though not to battle cancer, would be shorter lived but just as intense. Medicines were administered to help navigate the side effects, but we knew that nausea, fevers, and hair loss were on the way. In addition to feeling like I had been hit by a Mac truck, my treatment days would be filled with congestion, difficulty breathing and bouts of crippling anxiety.
I had never struggled with asthma, but if you have then you understand what it is like to struggle to fill your lungs with air. My struggles came because I had massive amounts of congestion and drainage that was aspirating into my lungs, and my weakened body lacked the strength to clear it. Each breath I took was a struggle and you could hear the rattling in my lungs as I fought to take in air. The doctors repeatedly would suction my lungs by threading a tube down my trachea into my lungs and removing what they could of the obstruction, but as soon as my lungs filled up again, the panic would once more set in.
Because of medicines and positioning I was able to get some rest, but as always the nights seemed to be the most difficult. Day after day of chemotherapy was endured with God’s grace, the unwavering support of my amazing wife, and the prayers of countless individuals like many of you. My body responded to the treatments as expected and my bone marrow was successfully depleted to the point I was ready for transplant. The final step would be two rounds of full-body radiation in the same day. I was prepped and in good spirits, ready to go when the team came to get me to transport me down to receive my final treatments.
Again, I’ll defer to Jodi’s words:
Due to lack of patients in the building our sitter ended up being one of the ICU nurses that was scheduled but among the overstaffed. Her name is Andrea. Andrea and I chatted and got to know each other in the hallway while we waited on Jeremy’s treatment. The nurse from the procedure stuck her head out about halfway through the procedure and asked if he could have his Ativan because he was having a panic attack. I looked at her with a puzzled face and told her he just had it and asked what was going on. I asked if she would let me see him to see if I could calm him down and she hesitated because of this toxic medicine he was getting. (Lady, just let me in). After I convinced her I could help, I got to him to find that panicked face and fear. His O2 was at 74. While I was talking him down we were climbing back up into the high 80s and in comes the code cart and about 50 people. He says he doesn’t remember everything and that’s ok but he was talking to me and locking eyes with me the entire time. He had an asthmatic allergic reaction to the medication and truly did have his lungs close up. He legitimately could not breathe. They gave him 4 albuterol treatments to open up those lungs again followed by oxygen. He is now breathing independently of oxygen and other treatments just fine keeping his O2 at 99%.
We are in ICU but about to go back to the floor.
The next day was supposed to be a day of rest, as we prepared for transplant day. A new birthday was scheduled for Friday, April 2, 2001. Good Friday.
I always thought that the title ascribed to the day that Jesus died on the cross was a bit confusing. It wasn’t such a good day for Christ, as he endured an unjust trial, the torture of a scourging, and death on a Roman cross. In spite of that, we call that day “good” is because on this day Jesus would secure our redemption, paying the penalty that we incurred because of our sins. It is on this day that Jesus would provide for me and you a way to experience eternal life in him by laying down his own life on our behalf, and on this day, I would quite literally be provided the possibility of new life through the donations of a 19 year old German man who found it in the generosity of his heart to donate part of his life so that a stranger on the other side of the world might live.
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
Romans 5:6-11
The symbolism wasn’t lost on us and we gave thanks to God for the sacrifice that was made by Christ so that I might be made right with Him, and for the sacrifice that was made by my new German friend so that my white blood cells might be made right to fight off this infection.
April 2 came with cake and a party. My body was so ravaged by the infection that I don’t remember much of it. I just remember that because of my newly acquired NG tube, and the dangers of aspiration I couldn’t have any of the delectable treats. But I did receive my new white blood cells. As they coursed down the tube and into my veins, all that was left was to pray that they take up residence in the newly vacated bone marrow cavities and begin fighting their guerrilla war on my behalf.
The fear was real. The anxiety was real. But because of Jesus Christ and good Friday, so was the hope. So was the assurance. No matter what happened to me in the transplant process, because of Christ my eternity was secure. The worst that could happen to me is that I got to see Jesus just a little sooner than we had hoped, and in all honesty, if that was the worst that could happen, then I really had no reason to be afraid.
Jodi asked me to think of a song that I could sing to myself when I felt the anxiety beginning to creep in. She was thinking that I might select a praise song. Instead I started singing the theme song to “Three’s Company.”
“Come and knock on our door!”
At least my sense of humor remained intact.
Jeremy Powell 